The End Of An Era

Just to clarify – I’m not dead. I know there has been silence for the last two weeks but every time I got my laptop out to write, I just couldn’t face the music. My emotions got the better of me and I decided not to write until I felt more able. 

It has been a week since I left South Africa. A whole week. I didn’t realise a week could feel as long as this one has. But I am back in the UK and things are looking very different here – to say that I am experiencing “culture shock” would be an understatement. 

I was planning on doing a reflections post about the last year of my life. However, just thinking about it makes me very heart sore. It’s not that I don’t like the UK, because I do. But there was just something about little old East London that made me feel so much at home; it just felt as though I was supposed to be there. 

So, you are probably all wondering now what on earth I am going to write about. If I’m not going to reflect on my time in South Africa, what am I going to do? (PS: If you want to know what I did, just go back and read all of my other blog posts!) Well folks, today I am going to answer a question that has been asked of me loads over the past month:

Are you going to continue your blogs?

The simple answer if yes. But I know more of an explanation is needed than that.

For the last 5 years or so, whenever something went right or completely wrong, or a major event happened, my dad would always say, “it’s all part of the adventure”. If there was a bump in the road, when I got to the end, I would look back on the bump and see that it wasn’t that big in the grand scheme of things, or if I hadn’t of gone over the bump, I wouldn’t be in the place I am now. That’s what he always told me, anyway. 

When I created this blog, I figured that naming it “It’s All Part Of The Adventure” was pretty apt. I was preparing to go on my gap year to South Africa (a pretty big adventure!) and there were sure to be some bumps in the road. It seemed perfect. 

And now I’m back. So the question is, is there still an adventure to document? 

Again, the answer is yes. I may be back in the UK but I have loads I want to talk about. And life will never stop being an adventure. So buckle your seat belts. This adventure is looking to be even more crazy than before – especially when God is in the driving seat. 

A Week Of Lasts

Yes, the time has come for me to start winding down all that I am doing here in South Africa and begin thinking about heading back to the UK (although I am trying to only do the latter after my holiday this weekend!). But, in finishing up here, it has meant that I have done things for the last time. I’m not going to lie, it has been a very emotional week.

Friday:
Over the past year, it has been such a privilege to be a part of the youth team. I have seen so many young people grow in their relationship with God and, in turn, it has only encouraged me more. 

This past Friday, we had an end of term party, which was a lot of fun. Much food was eaten, and I don’t think I have ever laughed so much whilst playing 30 Seconds. Apparently, a seal meows according to Ignite! 

I just want to say thank you to all of the kids that have made Friday nights so enjoyable over the past year. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you all better and building solid relationships with each of you. 

Sunday:
To say that Sunday was an emotional day would be an understatement. 

I led worship for the last time and even danced!! Evidence of this dancing can be found on Facebook for all those interested! But as well as this, it was my last Sunday with the de Bruins, so it was time to say goodbye. I know that it wasn’t my last ever service (I have one left – 9th July), but it was incredibly emotional just listening to all that they were saying. I was also presented with the most beautiful Bible I have ever seen. Honestly, words can not describe how grateful I am for that lovely gift. 

As is tradition on a Sunday in the de Bruin household, we sit down for a family dinner. This one, however, was coined “The Last Supper” by Chloe. Obviously, it wasn’t the last ever meal I will eat with them – just wait until you see pictures of this coming weekend – but it was the last Sunday lunch. And what a feast it was! Kalamari, fish cakes, chips… What more could a person ask for?!

Monday:
It was my last admin meeting on Monday. Unfortunately we didn’t get a picture of this (I would have been pulling ugly crying faces anyway) but again, it was an emotional one. I have to say that I am going to miss my Monday mornings; it has been such a pleasure to work with all of those on the team. I have been able to learn so much from each of them in so many different ways. It has been an awesome year sitting around that table. 

Tuesday:
Last night, we had our life group social to celebrate the end of term, and we went bowling. I know that I am not very good at said activity, but it was definitely a whole load of fun. Needless to say, Chloe’s run up to bowl was the most entertaining thing I have ever witnessed and we have a surprisingly large amount of people in the group that must secretly train for evenings such as this. Nicola, for example, is now the highest scoring woman. I am certainly going to miss being around this group of people – they’re pretty great. 

I’m going to stop writing now, because I am going to find myself getting emotional again. So I’ll catch up with you all again after I have been on my holiday!

Baptisms

On Sunday, I had the privilege of being able to baptise 3 of our young people with Cebo and watch another be baptised by her father. It was such an exciting moment to be a part of, even if the water was absolutely freezing!

For those who don’t know what baptism is, it a full-body submersion in water, which is a public declaration of your faith in Jesus. As you go down into the water, it symbolises you dying to your old self, and as you come back up out of the water, it symbolises being made new and washed clean in Christ Jesus. For me, it is such a beautiful thing to witness.

Firstly, we baptised Kuhle, who has grown up in Everyday People, and felt like the next step for her in being obedient to God and serve Him was to do this. 

Next, we baptised Usi. Over the past year, it has been so awesome just to see him grow in His faith and then make the decision to take the next step in declaring his faith.

What made this next baptism so special is that Mihle was baptised by her father, Vuyani, on Father’s Day. It was so beautiful to watch.

Finally, Cebo and I were able to baptise Kayleigh, who has also been on such a journey with God over the past year, hearing Him speak to her clearly! 

It was so beautiful to see these young people declaring that Jesus is their Lord and Saviour and I am so thankful that I was able to be a part of it. It’s definitely not something that I’m going to forget in a hurry.

CJ Was Dancing?!

This past weekend, I found myself at the C-Club in Cintsa, watching Matthew Mole performing. For those of you who don’t know, Matthew Mole is a South African musician who writes the most amazing songs. If you haven’t listened to any of his music, I am urging you to go and take a listen; they are incredible. 

One of his supporting acts was Jason Gladwin. He was born and raised in East London and his music is equally as incredible. Although I was listening to his music for the first time, I was so drawn to the unique sound. If you want to listen to any of his music, you can find it on Sound Cloud. 

I’m the sort of person who appreciates just listening to music, but when I hear the artist live and they are just as good, I become a major fan girl. Both Gladwin and Mole’s stage presence and sound was seriously good, and I was so impressed at how Mole would walk around the stage and just pick up a different instrument and start playing. It was just phenomenal.

Now, If I know any of you well enough, I will know that you clicked on this blog post to see where I talk about me dancing. Because I never dance. But the thing is, whilst I was there, with great friends and great music, I found myself bopping along and really enjoying moving about a little. I mean, I know I am not a good dancer and I know I never will be. And I think that is probably what’s stopped me from moving before. But I literally had no cares in the world and I really had an awesome time. 

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Plans are a funny thing. You can arrange and organise as much as you like, but will it turn out the way you originally thought it would? Probably not. The plan could be as simple as what you are doing that day, or be as complicated as what you are going to do in 10 year time. But no matter what it is, the likelihood is, it will always change or be different from how you imagined it in your head. But that’s okay.

When I was little, there were quite a few things that I had on my bucket list that I wanted to do but there was only ever one job I wanted to do. And trust me, I had my heart set on it for about 10 years. While I dreamed of swimming with dolphins and having 20 dogs, I wanted desperately to be a dentist. Don’t ask me why because looking back, I literally have no idea why I wanted to look into people’s mouths all day. Not my idea of fun now. 

Then I got a little bit older and all I wanted to do was to become a police officer. Because you got to drive really fast with flashing lights on. Oh, and you caught the bad guys! It seemed like a whole lot of fun and I thought I could be an awesome cop. However, I then found out that night shifts were inevitable. That was something I was not willing to deal with. I struggle to stay awake past 22:30 and you can’t catch criminals when you’re sleeping. 

Opening a bakery seemed like the next logical thing to choose and I could tag team it with my friends who were also really into making cake. I mean, who doesn’t want to be surrounded by cake all day? Well, apparently the answer to that question is: someone who can’t eat them because you actually need to sell the stuff you make.

After taking time to seriously think about my options, I then decided that I wanted to be a History Teacher. Honestly, I wanted to do this for about 3 years. And as much as I love history, and think I would be really good at teaching, it’s the university part that stops me in my tracks. I’m honestly not sure that university is for me and I would rather just go straight into working. 

Now, you may be thinking, “CJ, why are you telling us your life story?” I mean, as nice as it is, I realise that with no point, this is just a very strange blog post. But, don’t worry. There is a point…

You see, as young people we are presented with a whole load of options of what we should do in the future and are expected to choose one thing. If we look back roughly 50 years, we would see that people would grow up, choose a job close to home and do that for the rest of their lives. That would be it. But now, we live in a world where we have the ease of travel to distant lands, more courses at university that literally have no point and a ridiculous amount of career paths that we could walk down. Some jobs are looked at as better than others and the amount of money you earn is considered to be the selling point of the majority of jobs. There are just too many choices and we have got fussier.

So I decided that I should just choose something and stick with it. For now anyway. If God wants me to do something else and puts a huge passion on my heart for it, then I will make a plan. But for now, I’m going to stick to my plan. Even if that means that I’m not going to go to university or that I’m doing a job that people may think is ‘beneath my abilities’. That’s okay. As long as I have a smile on my face, I’m happy. 

Changes

I’m not going to lie, before sitting down at my desk to start writing, I was completely uninspired. I had not a clue what I was going to write about and I think I must have re-written this introduction about 5 times. And that got me thinking. Dangerous, I know. 

This time last year I was also feeling pretty uninspired. I had just gotten rid of an horrendous sickness bug and I was about to start writing my final exams. And as soon as they were over, I would be moving to a completely different continent. And I had written and written and written about all of these things, enough to bore everyone that was reading it. I had reached a point where creative juices were no longer flowing and I had no motivation to open up my laptop and just start writing. 

But a lot has changed in the past year, and I think I would describe myself as a completely different person. Even though I was uninspired 20 minutes ago, I allowed myself to just let my hands move across the keyboard and see what happened, rather than completely shutting myself down (excuse the pun) and giving up because my brain wasn’t working fast enough. Now, I am not saying that my brain now works faster – I now know that if I give myself a little bit of time to think and not pressure myself, things will actually get done quicker. 

As much as I could babble on for hours about how much I have changed over the past 11 months, I think I will save all of this for an epic blog post in a few weeks time. Today was just a taster.  And don’t worry, I am inspired about them! I’ve even begun planning them in advance! 

 

Just Do Something

Yesterday, I started reading the book that my dad sent me for my birthday, entitled “Just Do Something” by Kevin DeYoung. The whole premise of the book is finding God’s will for your life when you literally have no idea what it is. Now, you may all be wondering why my dad would send me a book about this sort of thing, but he had serious reason to. I had dreams and aspirations but I don’t think owning a library is a realistic one… and I was struggling with what was coming next for me; the future was a scary thought.

On opening this book, I was surprised (in a good way) at how blunt it was. It lays life out on the table and explains how there is too much going on. We have too many choices so we are lost when it comes to making the final decision. This got me thinking.

I am only half way through reading it, but already, I am aware that there are times when you just have to step out in faith and trust that God will be there to hold you in the decision that you make. When it comes to it, we really just need to bite the bullet and actually make a decision because otherwise we will be sitting and waiting around like melons, waiting for God to tell us our life story when He’s probably not going to tell you. 

So, that means, I just need to make a decision about what I am going to do when I get back to the UK in July. I know God made it clear that coming to South Africa was the right decision, but I think this time, I have to make the decision. I can’t wait until the last minute to choose so I might as well just do something. It doesn’t mean I don’t need to pray that it is still the right decision, but it does mean that I might just have to go with my gut on this one. 

Sometimes, we just need to do something and once we look back at how we got there, we will see the hand of God at work. It just may not be as obvious in the moment – no writing in the sky this time!

Joy In The Simple Things

What makes you happy?

Is it your career, your friends, family, the sun, a good night’s sleep even?

There’s a whole bunch of things that you can try and build around yourself to increase your happiness and often it comes with the expectation that it all has to be perfect. According to a recent study done at Princeton University, it’s said that a person can’t be truly happy unless they earn a salary of at least $75,000 per year (£58,485/R981,480). Now, if I’m not mistaken, that’s actually a lot of money – more than the average person would earn anyway! So does that mean that I can’t be happy or show any signs of pure joy because I don’t have enough money to put a smile on my face?! I know I’m no scientist or epic researcher but I’m pretty certain that statistics like that are wrong. 

When you experience true joy, there’s nothing like it. There is this feeling inside of you that is completely unexplainable; it is an incredible affair. And I have found that it is made up of so many independent elements – it’s never just one thing that makes me joyful. But joy is different for everyone, so how can there be an algorithm for how to get happy? I know that a career won’t make me really happy but for some, they thrive. 

Yet, what if I told you that I knew where you could find joy. A joy that would be unique to you and would fill you right to the core? A smile would light up your face often and tears of laughter would run down your cheeks rather than tears of sadness. That’s what I want in any case! And the best part? You can get it for free! I know, that sells anything to anyone these days. 

It says in Psalm 34 vs 5, “Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.” The definition of radiant is: shining or glowing brightly. And apparently a glowing complexion is quite desirable. 

I Peter 1 vs 8 says, “you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy.” If anyone says they don’t want to feel that, they’re probably lying because that sounds pretty awesome.

There is something about having an encounter with God that fills me to the core with such a joy that I physically cannot stop laughing. Like, belly laughing. And I can’t explain what’s going on inside. It’s just God making me happy!

Feeling that joy for myself makes me want to see everyone else feel the way I do because there’s honestly nothing better. No career, no amount of money, no relationship will make you feel as happy as God will. Moreover, if you want it, all you have to do is ask for it. It’s as easy as that. He wants to give you this “inexpressible and glorious joy” because it’s His desire to see His children happy. I’ll take it any day.

So if anyone needs me, I’ll be in the corner laughing…

Easter Camp 2017

For all of you beady eyed readers out there, you would have noticed that I didn’t manage to post last Wednesday. Honestly, I know that any excuse I give will not mean anything to you, but I was not as organised as usual and I had to pack for Easter Camp, get a few last things done for work and then go out to the campsite for the leaders’ braai. I know, I know… I could have written a post beforehand and scheduled it to go up but that just seemed like too much effort! 

So this week, I know I have to make it up to you all. Which means you will want to see pictures, which I have (makes a change!).

Over the weekend, I was at Easter Camp, which is basically what it says on the tin, if you weren’t quite sure what it was. But if you are still confused as to what it is, it is a camp for young people to go to, where they will encounter God over the Easter weekend. I had the privilege of being a leader and on the worship team and I feel so blessed to have gotten to know the people I did and build new friendships with God at the very centre. 

Before I go any further, I would just like to mention how special the worship team have become to me. Over the past few months as we have been preparing for the camp, valuable friendships have been made and I treasure each one of you. You make me very happy and I am going to miss spending my Monday evenings worshiping with you all. 

But getting back to the point – the question you will all be asking is, “did God move?” And I can answer whole-heartedly with YES. So many young people gave their lives to God, encountered the Holy Spirit for the first time and were able to forgive where they have been wanting to for so long. The only real words I have to describe what happened are these: it was so evident that there is a loving Father who cares for His children, filling them with peace and joy so they are overflowing. I just want to honour Jen (the camp speaker) for really listening to the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to do what He wanted to do, even if it meant doing things a little bit differently. It meant that God was able to speak into lives and move like I haven’t seen Him move for a long time. 

Although the campers were able to meet with God powerfully, it has to be said that it was in no way just for the campers. There were many leaders at the camp, including myself, who could share testimonies at the end of how God broke in and impacted our lives. Personally, I have never felt as much joy as I did over this weekend; I have never been able to dance and I have always felt so trapped when it came to letting go and just having fun with dancing. But now I can’t stop moving and there is a fresh sense of joy running through my veins that surpasses all understanding, and no, I haven’t been able to stop laughing. It has made me feel truly alive – it is something I pray that all of the people around me will be able to experience too.

I won’t carry on for much longer because I understand that reading long blog posts can be quite a challenge! But before I go I want to thank the people that worked so hard to make Easter Camp possible and let them know that they are well and truly appreciated by all that came into contact with you. 

Happy Birthday To Me!

Over the weekend, I celebrated my 19th birthday. Now, I know that the first question on everyone’s lips will be “did you take any pictures at all?” And you will all be very pleased to know that there are hundreds – well that’s what it seems like anyway. So, today’s post will be a run down of all that I did to celebrate my birthday here in South Africa.

Friday 31st March
Youth was cancelled on Friday night as it was the first night of the Easter holidays, but instead the guys arranged for there to be an Alice in Wonderland themed Mad Hatter’s Tea Party for me so that the kids could get involved in the partying. I have to say, the cakes were all very tasty and I very much enjoyed having a bit of fun with all of the kids at youth. It felt very special, actually.

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Saturday 1st April
No, I am not joking. My birthday is definitely on April Fool’s Day. Very unfortunate, I know. 
I was treated to breakfast in bed – first win of the day. I don’t know what it is about other people making your breakfast for you (marmite on toast and a cup of tea, if anyone is wondering) and bringing it in to you just as you wake up, but it makes it all taste so much better. That’s definitely a tradition I am going to want to keep going. I then got to open my presents as well; I was spoiled rotten!

Then I got dressed for the day and FaceTimed my parents who were able to send over a package for me back in February. I heard it slosh when I first put it away so I was praying that there was a little bottle of Plymouth gin in there. It was either that or they were playing a very cruel joke on me, which I wouldn’t put past them to be honest. Luckily my prayers were answered!

After I had finished talking to my parents and my brother, I got that we were going to take a trip to the beach so that I could have a swim on my birthday, something I have never been able to do before this year as it has always been waaaay too cold. It was a really nice day so Chloe and Brogan managed to get a bit of a tan. Literally nothing happened to me – I am still as pale as a ghost. Maybe translucent is a better word to use here? 

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Wakaberry was our next stop. For those of you who have no clue what this is, it sells frozen yogurt where you can add toppings and it’s quite nice. But this was a very quick stop off because I had an appointment at the tattoo parlour to go and get my second tattoo! It is Morse code for hope.

By the time I had got that done, we were all famished and were in desperate need of some really nice lunch, so we made our way to Sanook. As usual, I had a pizza which was absolutely delicious. And as it was my birthday, I thought I would treat myself to a cocktail. I mean, why not?!

Once we eventually got home it was 4pm and I was shattered. After a brief time of chilling out, Chlo told me that I must go and get ready for a little party they were planning. It was so nice to see some friends and braai with a G&T in hand. And the cake was flipping tasty too!

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All in all, my South African birthday will be one that I look back on fondly and I just want to say thank you to everyone who made it so special.